I've been busy dealing with exam results and university admissions over the past few days and the powers that be have finally reached a decision about my application: I'm not university material this year. Not unexpected but still galling news all the same.
Despite being unable to seek treatment for major depressive disorder over the past few years and difficult life circumstances I managed to achieve an A in classics, a C in physics and a D in maths. My university made me an offer of ABB for the physics course I wanted so I was three grades down with hardly any chance of being accepted. My second choice had given me an offer of BBB - they refused me as well but at least they had the decency to make a quick decision rather than leave me in academic limbo for several days.
Yes, I was upset about the refusals but after reflecting on it over the weekend I'm starting to think taking a year out might be quite beneficial to me. I can finally seek treatment for depression to lift the weight off my shoulders and I'm now living with supportive family members who do are willing to help me with this. To be honest I don't think I would've got the most out of university in my current state: very reserved and often tearful even when I'm not being subject to any stress. I'm not sure whether I would've coped with the social side of university very well as things stand, getting my health sorted out before I go is the wiser option here.
Rather than go through clearing I've applied for three Scottish higher qualifications at college which I'll be attending on a part-time basis to ease myself back into studying. My chosen subjects are maths, physics and philosophy which are fairly similar to my A-level choices.
The dream of physics 2011 might be dead but physics 2012 is another matter entirely. Bring it on!